I was searching through my old emails, trying to find some pictures of Jugi (Foosa-Wu, Conqueror of Worlds, Emperor God Cat) from our first months together. I came across a few emails with amusing stories of incidences I had forgotten about. I am trying to put together a scrapbook of all of my pictures of our dear fur baby, and I am definitely going to include some of these stories with them! This is my project for after he is gone, because it will force me to look at memories of all of our HAPPY times together.
On a heartbreaking note: As an update, it IS cancer, and a very aggressive one at that. In less than two months, Jugi went from being happy and healthy to emaciated and barely able to breathe. The vet discovered that he has a large tumor growing around his larynx, squeezing his air way thinner and thinner. Due to how quickly this thing developed, we don't have very much time left with him. It absolutely devastates me: Jugi was my first kitty (my first animal actually - he was with me before the farm, before I met my husband even!). I don't have children, and I have hardly any family. Thus, Jugi is my family. Through the trials and heart aches of dealing with my own "blood relatives," I have come to learn that family isn't necessarily something you are born into; family is something you create for yourself out of the individuals who make a place feel like home. When we raced Jugi into the vet last Monday, there is a moment I will remember for as long as I live. It was one of those moments where time stops, and I remember thinking to myself, "This is an omen." It was when they had taken him into the back room to put him on supplemental oxygen to help him breathe. The doctor wanted to take some x-rays, and took off his collar so that his metal tag wouldn't show up in the x-rays. She came back into the room, and handed me the collar. And that is the moment I will always remember. That feeling, and the sight of a kitty collar with no kitty. That was when I knew.
I realize that there are some people who view animals as "sub-human." They don't qualify them as being intelligent or spiritual enough to have emotions or count as family. I feel terribly sorry for those people. They are missing out on something amazing. I have always treated my animals as beautiful, intelligent beings, entirely capable of communication with me and most definitely possessing souls. Just because they can't speak my language does NOT mean that they are unable to communicate their feelings and needs to me. I have always treated Jugi (and my myriad of other animals) as equal. Yes, I know that I am technically their "caretaker," but therein lies the difference: "caretaker" versus "owner." I do not OWN my animals. I take on a responsibility to care for and look after them. In some ways it's like being a foster mom. And as far as intelligence levels: Goodness, most times I will happily admit that on any given day Jugi is generally far more intelligent than I am! *laugh*
I am going to miss my plush monster more than I can ever put into words. This house will be empty without him - it will NOT be "home." I am dreading the loneliness of missing him. I know that I will have my memories of him to treasure always, but that doesn't mean that I am not going to miss him like crazy. Jugi is the curve that forms one half of my heart. Losing him is losing something of myself. I feel like I have been a better person because of loving him.
And on that note, on to some happier memories...
We had a pretty decent snow storm here last night. Nothing by Utah
standards, but for my fellow Oregonians, you would have been enchanted (as I
always am!)!! I woke up to white this morning, and there was a light but
steady snowfall all day. It's that wonderful powdery stuff that makes you
feel like a fairy in a snowglobe. I will admit to frolicking around in it
anytime I was outside, much to the amusement of several onlookers in the
Albertsons parkinglot. I went into work for most of the morning/early
afternoon, but got such a headache from being sleepy and battling with those
wretched maps (I do drafting work for EGI, and would SO much rather be out
in the field!!), I left and went to the grocery store, and then on to pick
out my Christmas tree! Now, granted, Christmas is not my holiday, and I
hate how everything is soooo bloody commercialized now (and the true meaning
of the holidays has been pushed to near extinction), but there is something
about snow and wintertime, holiday lights, and the scent of fresh evergreen,
that just brings true joy to my life (and the childlike delight always
hiding just below the surface). This year is extra special for me, because,
though I miss not being able to be with my family for the holidays, I do get
to enjoy the experience of my very first Christmas tree (on my own)!! It's
been an exciting day - can you tell?? *grin* ANYWHO, I tried to pick out
the lightest tree they had, as I am only one tiny little person.
Unfortunately, as you can see from the picture, it's bigger than I am, and
almost weighs more than I do! If you could have been there to watch me get
that thing in and out of my car (which now needs a THOROUGH cleaning), you
would have laughed your fool head off (I am still covered head to toe in
tree sap!). Anywho, I managed to get it into my apartment (and it only fell
over on me once! - you would have died to see me sprawled out on my
livingroom floor with a tree on top of me and probably only my legs showing
from underneath it). I set it up in my little tree stand, then put on my
Celtic holiday music, and set to work decorating (well, more like bouncing
around the livingroom in pure childish joy, while occassionally stopping
long enough to hang up an ornament). Jugi watched from the couch, meowing
every now and then in comment over the placement of an ornament. As you can
see from the picture, Jugi tuckered himself out after the VERY draining task
of chasing a ladybug (off of the tree) around the livingroom until I finally
caught the buggy and set it loose outside (I am guessing it has now died of
hypothermia). Anyway, I finally finished decorating my tree, and the pic
with me in it (all sweaty, but glowing in pride) shows another shot of my
So that was my day in short! :)
Otherwise, the semester is fast coming to a close (and I have waaaaaay more
studying to do than I will ever find time! - I just keep telling myself,
"Remember what Britt always said - 'C's get degrees'"). I have a final
midterm for my geochem class this Tuesday, and then several final projects
to finish and present the following week (and I have to finish some
evaporite sequence XRD analysis Tuesday afternoon - after the midterm - and
then go into work that night...ACK!). I actually only have "two" real
finals during finals week, which stinks because that means most of my stress
comes a week EARLIER than normal (as that is when all of the projects are
due). Anywho, I am also debating on how much of a masochist I am next
semester, and if I should go ahead and take ODE's (Ordinary Differential
Equations) and Physics 1 (again) together, or if I should drop one and save
it for next fall? I am still going to be trying to work nights and
weekends, so I am thinking that both classes together would kill me if I am
working too. Anywho, bleh!
I had a very nice thanksgiving spent with my wonderful friend, Elaina, and
her family (they have adopted me!). I spent most of Thursday
afternoon/evening over there, and Friday and Saturday with friends and Ryan
(god I love procrastinating on anything constructive!).
The best news of all (in my opinion) however, is that Ryan and I are moving
in (to my apartment) together in January! I am madly excited, and it will
be so wonderful to be with him. I keep meaning to send off a picture to
everyone, and I keep forgetting (sorry!). I promise I will get one out to
you all soon. Ryan told me to describe him as "tall, dark, and handsome."
*grin* I will agree with that! :)
Well, it's late, and I should get back before Ju decides to go tree
climbing. Love to you all! And for those of you in Oregon, I will regret
not being able to see you this year. I should be out (hopefully) sometime
this summer, so perhaps then?
Take care, and have an absolutely fantastic day!
Here is a picture of what Ryan came home to last night (I got in about 15 minutes before him, after five straight hours of physics and math finalspractically back to back). I had my comfort toy dragon, Dido playing, and my comfort/protective foosa. Ryan said that Jugi looked at him as if to say, "She's had a LONG day. If you approach slowly and cautiously, I MAY let you near her."
The other picture is one of Jugi in sympathy exhaustion for me (or so he claimed).
Here's to you, Jugi. We love you.