Friday, February 05, 2010

Ask Jillian Continued

Dear Jillian,

I was cleaning out the barn stall today, and forgot to close my mouth. Suddenly, as I was flinging a pile of manure into the wheel barrow, a lone piece landed in my mouth!! What do I do?? I am worried about getting all sorts of intestinal parasites now!


Wormy in Wisconsin


Well, my dear Wormy, you have unfortunately violated the #1 rule of Farm Etiquette: ALWAYS keep your mouth closed when cleaning out barns and pastures! The good news is that there are several very comforting ways to sanitize both your mind and your body. For starters, pour yourself an enormous glass of wine (or beer). Swish each mouthful for several seconds to sanitize your mouth. Next, begin prep work on a large dinner - something that involves beans (for example: burritos). Grab a large handful of dried epazote, and add it into the bean dish as part of the seasoning. Epazote is a traditional Mexican culinary herb, as well as an excellent vermifuge (that's something that dispels intestinal parasites). Epazote also helps to reduce intestinal gas (so your spouse will thank you!).

Enjoy those epazote burritos! With such amazing medicinal properties, you won't feel guilty going back for seconds...or thirds...


Christine Collier said...

Hahaha! What wine would you recommend?! I'd maybe go with a 2005 Paschal Syrah... pairs perfectly with manure. :)

Apothecary Inn said...

After an incident such as that (to which Mike Rowe and I are unfortunately no strangers!), I prefer a big, bold red, like Troon's '04 Reserve Cab. Something strong to overpower the poo. And the memories.