Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Ask Jillian

I have been quasi-jokingly informed by a dear friend (yes, that is you, Kailee) that I should start writing an "Ask Jillian" column for local, country living-related advice. It would be like "Dear Abbey" but with barnyard etiquette.
So, here is my first mock article:

"Dear Jillian,

I have an old row boat that no longer holds water just laying around on my property. I want to clean up my land, but I feel bad throwing it away. What can I do with it?

Confused in the Country"


"Well, Confused in the Country, your answer is a simple one. Merely take your old boat, power wash the dirt off with a hose, allow it to dry, and then white-wash the outside with an exterior primer. Drill drainage holes in the bottom with an electric drill, come up with a fitting name to paint on the side, and move it into the garden as your newest raised bed! You can build a mast out of an old trellis and train grapes to grow up it for an "organic" sail. And of course, don't forget that pirate flag!

P.S. - Don't pay to purchase grape plants! Grow your own using free cuttings obtained from local vineyards. Vineyards usually do their pruning from January to March, so you'll need to hustle to get those free cuttings!"

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